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  你是否曾經感覺自己的感情曾經遭受沮喪,緊張,距離或其他負面情緒的困擾?事實是,在每段感情中這些糾結都不可避免。“如果你正在經歷這種幻滅,那么說明你和大家都一樣” 。快來看看有哪些壞習慣使得夫妻分手吧

  Hendrix, author of the best selling book, Getting theLove You Want, started examining the question, "why do couples fight" in the late 1970s. Afterstudying and working with thousands of couples, he has found that there are 10 common badhabits couples engage in that make relationships miserable and can lead to break-up ordivorce.


  1. Insist your partner be exactly the same as you.


  "Absolute compatibility" is an express route to a dull relationship. If you insist your partnerhave the same feelings and perceptions as you do, it can lead to despair and misery.


  2. Be critical.


  Even "constructive" criticism can make your partner defensive and reduce the feeling of safetyin a relationship. Being harsh and judgmental when angry can trigger a "flight or fightresponse."


  3. Flee from intimacy.


  If you habitually avoid being physically or emotionally close with your partner throughescaping into work, hobbies, television, or other activities, you risk creating a divide betweenyou and your partner that may become impossible to breach.


  4. Play the blame game.


  Using "you" language when upset will make your partner put up their defenses. When yourgoal is to communicate in a way that fosters intimacy, use statements that begin with "I feel"instead.


  5. Bargain.


  Both "giving conditionally and receiving cautiously" erode relationships. He warns against doingsomething for a partner only when you want something in exchange.


  6. Be casual about romance.


  No relationship can be spontaneously joyful forever. Once the initial excitement of a newromance wears off, some couples think their relationship is over and give up trying. They riskmissing out on experiencing a deeper kind of love.


  7. Focus on the negative.


  If you constantly think and talk about your partner's flaws it can amplify your discontent. Aparadox of most forms of couples therapy is that you spend your sessions complaining aboutyour partner—something that can actually be detrimental to your relationship.


  8. Refuse to listen.


  Thinking you are the right all the time and engaging in a one-way monologue is a great wayto end up in a relationship…of one.


  9. Hide your needs.


  If you don't express what you need and want to your partner, you'll constantly feel deprivedand frustrated. It's crucial share "the things that truly touch your heart."

  如果你從不對伴侶表達你需要什么想要什么,你會一直感覺到不滿和沮喪。分享那些“真正觸動你內心的東西” 是非常重要的。

  10. Expect a fairytale romance.


  Fairy tales are just that and eventually we all have to come down to earth. Demanding thefantasy go on forever prevents your partner from ever being their authentic self and fostersresentment and distance.


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